Wandering Eyes or Single-Minded?

This morning I want to talk to you about sexual sin. Well, I don’t want to actually, but we’re in the middle of our series on the Big Temptations – otherwise known as the Seven Deadly Sins – and today my title is ‘Wandering Eyes or Single-Minded’. That refers to the choice between faithfulness and lust, so there’s no avoiding the subject.

Now let me immediately begin with the good news about lust. You can find it in 1 Corinthians 10.13, where the apostle Paul says this:

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

Note a number of things. If lust is a problem for you, you’re not alone. If you’re a believer, then you, with the help of the Holy Spirit, are always stronger than the temptation to sexual sin. And you will never find yourself in a situation where there is no way out and you have no choice but lust. God always provides a way out.

Now maybe you immediately think, ‘Yes, but what about when I fail to take that way out and fall into sexual sin? What then?’ Well there’s even more good news. I John 1.9:

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

That’s God’s promise. So although this is potentially an uncomfortable and even painful topic, there is hope. There is hope of avoiding sin. And there is hope of forgiveness if we do sin. It’s important that we’re clear about that before we go any further. If we know there’s hope, we’re more likely to heed the warnings about this that God gives us in the Bible.

Now I’d like to use as a framework for our thinking the incident in the life of King David when he falls into sexual sin and commits adultery with Bathsheba. It’ll be useful if you have that open in front of you, so please turn to 2 Samuel 11, which is on page 314. I’ll refer to other passages, but that’s the one we’ll keep coming back to. Then as we look at this passage, I have a sequence of simple questions for us to consider.

There is of course a great deal more that could be said about this than we’ll cover in this overview, so if this leaves you with important unanswered questions, then I’d encourage you to talk to someone you trust so that you can get your questions answered. So, to my questions.

First, WHAT IS LUST?

I’ve already identified lust with sexual sin – that is sex outside marriage, but it’s worth making the point that lust can be viewed as something with a much wider reference. Lust is desire wrongly directed. It is sinful desire. Desire can be thoroughly Godly and directed in the right course. Then it’s good. God puts into our hearts and minds Godly desires. But when those desires are distorted and misdirected they become deadly. 1 John 2.15-17 is very clear on this:

15Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16For everything in the world— the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does— comes not from the Father but from the world. 17The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives for ever.

What is lust? It’s sinful craving, it’s being greedy with your eyes, and it’s intensely focussed on having and on doing – possession of what is not ours, and physical acts that are contrary to God’s will. That kind of sinful craving is contrasted with love for our heavenly Father and with the desire to do his will.

So lust in this broader sense flows from idolatry – putting other things in the place of God in our lives. And it does show itself particularly in sexual sin. There is a classic description of that in Romans 1.22-24:

22Although [men] claimed to be wise, they became fools 23and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man…. 24Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.

Lust is sinful and idolatrous craving, often expressed in sexual sin. And there is no place for it in the life of the church, the Body of Christ – or in the life of the individual believer. Ephesians 5.3:

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.

Secondly, WHEN ARE WE VULNERABLE?

This is where we come to King David and Bathsheba. Take a look at 2 Samuel 11.1-2 (there on page 314):

1In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king's men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem. 2One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace.

It seems to me King David is very vulnerable to the sin of lust here. Why? Arguably, because it’s spring – so do be careful now as the days lengthen and temperatures rise. But I don’t wish to make too much of that.

He’s a man – and you’ve only got to have some slight awareness of the male psyche, not to mention the horrifying statistics on the use of pornography, to know that men are prone to lust. But then it’s not just men. Potiphar’s wife is an example of a lustful woman. Genesis 39.12:

She caught [Joseph] by his cloak and said, Come to bed with me! But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house.

Maybe in women these cravings often take a different form to those of men – do the sales of some Mills and Boon romantic novels to women somehow reflect the sales of pornographic material to men? I hesitate to answer that question, but just leave it hanging in the air. Either way, men are vulnerable – but so are women.

Then King David is young – at least relatively young. And sexual craving is generally stronger in the young than the old. On the other hand I heard a radio discussion the other day about the so-called male menopause during which so many aging men discard their wives and go lusting after younger alternatives. No age is invulnerable.

It’s late in the day and David’s tired but not asleep. Perhaps his moral guard is down as a result. We need to be self-aware about the times when we find ourselves more easily allowing ourselves to drift towards sin. But then lust can strike at any time of day.

Perhaps most significantly of all, David is neglecting his responsibilities and is therefore at a loose end, maybe even bored. As the old saying goes, the devil makes work for idle hands. Undoubtedly this is a pointed reference in the account here to the fact that this is the time of year “when kings go off to war… But David remained in Jerusalem”. If he’d been preoccupied, as he should have been, with his leadership responsibilities, then he wouldn’t have found himself in this vulnerable situation and frame of mind.

Be aware, and be on guard against times of vulnerability.

Thirdly, WHAT ARE THE STEPS TO SEXUAL SIN?

Back to 2 Samuel 11, from verse 2:

One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful…

The first step is temptation. But be clear that to be tempted is not a sin. The indications are that David was not expecting to see this woman. He just saw her. And that is not a sin. We need to be realistic about this. We live in a culture in which we’re constantly surrounded by sexual imagery. And of course we don’t segregate the sexes. Nor should we.

It’s perhaps worth making a tentative comment that it might have been a good idea for Bathsheba to have pulled the shower curtain across. She wasn’t responsible for David’s sin. But it is the case that women can graciously help men to avoid lust by dressing modestly. Often fashions seem deliberately designed to inflame lust. We’ve had bare midriffs. We’ve had trousers half way down backsides. We’ve had miniskirts. The latest fashion seems to be not bothering with a skirt at all. In 1 Timothy 2.9 Paul says:

I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety…

That is a help to the men.

But there’s something else important here before we move on to the next step. Verse 2 says “the woman was very beautiful…” Why was she beautiful? Because God made her beautiful. Physical beauty and sexual desire are God’s invention.

Burning coal in the fireplace warms the whole room. But throw that same coal into someone’s lap and it’s deadly. Water running between river banks is life-giving. But when the river bursts its banks it can destroy family homes.

Women are beautiful, and thank God for that. In fact when we thank God for it, we’re on the right track. It’s when what we’re thinking requires us to shut God out that we’re in trouble. The ideal is not a humanity with its sexual desires surgically removed; nor is it burqa type clothing that hides us away from one another. The ideal is a healthy and Godly mutual appreciation. Men and women would then not be sex-objects to be lusted after, but brothers and sisters to be loved in the family of God.

So temptation is not sin. But the easiest way to deal with temptation is to give in to it, and that is what David does. Verses 2-3:

2…From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, 3and David sent someone to find out about her.

The second step is to start playing with fire. Why does David want to know more about this woman? This is no longer innocent – although he could still be rationalising to himself that it is, and that he’s just curious. But it rapidly gets worse. The account continues, vv3-4:

3…David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, Isn't this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite? 4Then David sent messengers to get her.

The third step is to cross the line from temptation to mental sexual sin. He had no business sending for her. He has allowed his lust to take hold of his mind and his mental sexual sin is beginning to drive his behaviour. This is a very slippery slope reminiscent of the skeleton run in the winter Olympics. Even at this stage he could be telling himself that he’s just going to have a cup of tea with her and chat about how her husband’s doing on the battle field. But in no time David escalates things. Verse 4:

Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her.

So the fourth step is to move from mental sin to physical sexual sin. Now irretrievably other people are directly involved in the sin. In fact the adulterer David has sucked Bathsheba into committing adultery herself against her husband.

And we don’t have time to look at this closely, but as the account unfolds it’s clear that there’s more. The fifth step is that the physical sexual sin leads on into wider and wider forms of sin. So David abuses his God-given power to murder Bathsheba’s husband by proxy. Sin leads to more sin. And deeper and deeper we go, until we’re drowning in a sordid sea of lethal lies and deceit.

Those are the slippery steps to sexual sin. James 1.14-16 puts the process in a nutshell. God does not tempt anyone…

14…but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. 16Don't be deceived, my dear brothers.

What’s the next question?

Fourthly, HOW CAN WE AVOID SEXUAL SIN?

This is something we very easily overcomplicate. If we say to ourselves that it’s complicated and difficult, that helps us to excuse ourselves when we don’t do it. But really it is simple. How can we avoid sexual sin? Flee from it. And flee from it immediately. Flee fast. Don’t toy with it. Don’t humour it. Don’t even try and resist it or get in a fight with it like two heavyweights slugging it out. Just flee from it. Get out of there. Now. The longer you leave it, the harder it gets because the weaker is your resolve. Flee now. 2 Timothy 2.22:

Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

1 Corinthians 6.18-20:

18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honour God with your body.

Flee from sexual immorality. Joseph is our role model in this, back in Genesis 39.12:

[Potiphar’s wife] caught [Joseph] by his cloak and said, Come to bed with me! But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house.

And one thing that helps us to flee fast is if we’ve already made up our minds long before that that’s what we’ll do when we find ourselves faced with temptation. Then we don’t have to hang around while we debate with ourselves about what to do. Job had this right. Here’s Job 31.1-4:

1I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl. 2For what is man's lot from God above, his heritage from the Almighty on high? 3Is it not ruin for the wicked, disaster for those who do wrong? 4Does he not see my ways and count my every step?

How can we avoid lust and sexual sin? Decide now to flee fast, and when the temptation arises, run.

Fifthly, WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF SEXUAL SIN?

One answer to that is look around at our society. Our lust-laden, adulterous generation is inflicting untold grief and suffering, and leading millions into sinful patterns of living that are searing their consciences, hardening their hearts against the love of Christ, and deadening their capacity for faithfulness. I was listening to a song by Sting and I was struck by the lyric. He sings:

Now no-one's knocked upon my doorFor a thousand years, or moreAll made up and nowhere to goWelcome to this one man showJust take a seat, they're always freeNo surprise, no mysteryIn this theatre that I call my soulI always play the starring role, so lonelySo lonely, so lonely…

That’s like the song of a lost generation. When the star is me and everyone else is the object of my lust, it’s so lonely. God has a better plan.

But in the end the consequences of sexual sin are even worse than the terrible harvest of suffering and loneliness that our generation is reaping. Jesus is so frighteningly clear. Here are his familiar and sobering words in Matthew 5.27-29:

27You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.

The ultimate consequence of unbridled and unrepented sexual sin is hell. But as I said at the outset, there is hope. So:

Sixthly, WHAT SHOULD WE DO IF WE FALL INTO SEXUAL SIN?

We should admit it to ourselves and to God; confess it to him; put our trust in the sin-bearing and substitutionary death of Jesus on the cross for us; receive forgiveness by faith; and face the continuing consequences of what we’ve done. We cannot undo what we’ve done. But we can be forgiven. Our guilt can be wiped away once and for all. We can be free from condemnation. That is what our gracious, merciful and loving God has done for us in Jesus. That is what he applies to our hearts by his Holy Spirit.

If you’re struggling to grasp the reality of that forgiveness, think about finding someone you trust, someone who understands the grace of God and the reality of forgiveness, someone who can keep a confidence, and confess your sin to them. It’s a wonderful thing when another person knows the worst about you and still loves you. That experience helps us to realise how God deals with us.

He is a holy God who cannot tolerate sin. And he is a merciful God who pays the price for our sin himself. So let the prayer of the repentant King David in Psalm 51 be our prayer as we close. Let’s bow our heads to pray:

1Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. 2Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. 3For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. 4Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge…7Cleanse me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.