The Lord's Rebuke

Ten years ago I got a phone call from a guy called Steve – not his real name. He'd come to church at one stage. I hadn't seen him for years. But he asked if we could meet. And when we did, he told me he was now divorced: he'd been serially unfaithful to his wife, and finally left her for one of the women involved. He'd then been serially unfaithful to that woman, and broken up with her. And he said he was now caught up in a life of one night stands and pornography. And along the way he'd encouraged one of those partners to have an abortion. And he said to me, 'I'm a complete mess. I don't know how to get myself out of this. And if I ever think about God, I just tell myself, 'Steve, you deserve to go to hell.''

What would you have said to him?

I asked myself, 'Where does the Bible address someone who's guilty of adultery and taking life?' And the answer, as we saw last week, is in the story of David, which we're following in this 2 Samuel series. And tonight's chapter, along with the Psalms that come from this part of David's life (e.g. Psalm 51) have been precious to countless believers. Because they show how, after David committed adultery and murder, the Lord forgave and restored him. And the encouragement is that David 'plays us all onside' – in other words, if God could do that for David, he can do it for anyone.

So as we look at this chapter, it's going to answer some big questions, like:

• 'Can we really be forgiven, whatever we've done?'
• 'What about the consequences of sin? Does God forgiving our sin mean he also removes, or at least reduces, the consequences?'
• And if not, 'How can I believe God loves me when the consequences of my sin make it feel like he's punishing me?'

So let's turn in the Bibles to 2 Samuel 11 and 12. And let me re-cap chapter 11.

David was king of God's Old Testament people, Israel. And he had an inner circle of closest allies and soldiers, called 'the Thirty' – one of whom was Uriah. And while Uriah was away fighting a war for David, David committed adultery with his wife, Bathsheba, and got her pregnant. So to try to cover it up, David called Uriah back to Jerusalem on the pretext of getting a report on the war. And after meeting with Uriah, David said to him, 'Why don't you go and spend the night at home?' (Subtext: '… and enjoy a night with your wife before returning to the front.') That way, when the pregnancy became public, the rest of the Thirty would slap Uriah on the back and say, 'So you didn't just report to the King that time he called you home.' And Uriah, too, would think it was his child.

That was Plan A. But Uriah was a man of principle and said, 'No, I won't allow myself that while my brothers in the army are sacrificing the comforts of home.' So David moved to Plan B, which was to kill Uriah. David could then take Bathsheba as his own wife, and cover up that way. So he sent instructions to have Uriah put in the fiercest fighting and then abandoned in a sudden retreat, to die. So look down to chapter 11, verses 26-27 to pick up the story:

When the wife of Uriah heard that Uriah her husband was dead, she lamented over her husband. And when the mourning was over, David sent and brought her to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son…

And maybe David thought he'd got away with it. 'But,' end of verse 27:

…the thing that David had done displeased the LORD. [literally, 'was evil in the LORD's eyes']

So we may take comfort from thinking our sin is secret from others. But it's not secret from God, is it? And in Psalm 11, verse 4 – maybe partly through this experience in 2 Samuel 11 and 12 – David wrote this:

… the LORD's throne is in heaven;his eyes see, his gaze examines the children of man.

I remember when I was little, at one stage I played hide and seek by just crouching down anywhere and covering my eyes – thinking that if I couldn't see them, they couldn't see me. And it's equally flawed to think that if I put God out of my mind, I put him out of the room so that whatever I'm doing is secret. No, 'his eyes see' – always, everywhere, everything.

But the thing that David had done displeased the LORD. And the LORD sent Nathan [one of his prophets or spokesmen] to David.2 Samuel 11.27-12.1

That sounds ominous, but it's actually gracious – because for the last nine months, David's been a million miles from God even if most people around him don't know it. So God in his grace sends Nathan to speak to him – not because he's out to get David, but because he's out to get him back on track.

And maybe you tonight are exactly where David was. Either as someone who's not yet a Christian – like that guy Steve I began with. Or as a Christian who's gone miles off track. And the Lord has you here to speak to you tonight. And maybe he's had Christian brothers and sisters trying to speak to you in the past weeks and months. And you need to know above all that the Lord is not out to get you, but to get you back, or back on track. And 2 Samuel 12 teaches us, in a series of words, the pathway God uses to do that. And the first is:

1. A word of conviction

Look down to chapter 12, verses 1-6:

And the LORD sent Nathan to David. He came to him and said to him, "There were two men in a certain city, one rich and the other poor. The rich man had very many flocks and herds, but the poor man had nothing but one little ewe lamb, which he had bought. And he brought it up, and it grew up with him and with his children. It used to eat of his morsel and drink from his cup and lie in his arms, and it was like a daughter to him. Now there came a traveller to the rich man, and he was unwilling to take one of his own flock or herd to prepare for the guest who had come to him, but he took the poor man's lamb and prepared it for the man who had come to him." Then David's anger was greatly kindled against the man, and he said to Nathan, "As the LORD lives, the man who has done this deserves to die, and he shall restore the lamb fourfold, because he did this thing, and because he had no pity." Nathan said to David, "You are the man!"

So the rich man stands for David, and his many flocks for his multiple wives. And someone said to me this week, 'My problem with this passage is that the Lord convicts David of adultery, but seems happy with his harem of women.' So let me say a brief word on that. The Lord is not happy with David's polygamy – or anyone else's in the Old Testament. But the narrative doesn't keep saying that in brackets. Because it assumes we'll know that, from the whole Bible. So in Genesis 2.24, the foundational definition of marriage, says:

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

In other words, just two become one – exclusively and for life. And against that, after the fall, when polygamy first rears its ugly head in Genesis 4, you can tell it's implicitly condemned as sexual greed. And the Old Testament narrative then consistently shows polygamy as negative. Now when you get to the Old Testament law, you do find laws about polygamy. But they're like the law about divorce: they're not approving and encouraging something God wants; they're regulating, and providing damage-limitation for, something he doesn't want, but that is, sadly, part of this fallen world. And in fact the law addressed to the king – who was supposed to lead in obedience to God's Word – explicitly says:

And he shall not acquire many wives for himself…Deuteronomy 17.17

Above all, get to the New Testament, and Jesus' teaching on Genesis 2 makes clear that what God has wanted all along is the marriage of one man with one woman – exclusively and for life. So we're expected to bring all that to our reading of 2 Samuel, and not to think that the Lord was happy with David's harem. He wasn't. But as C.S. Lewis said, the Old Testament was a progressive educational process for God's people, and David was only in Key Stage 2.

So the rich man stands for David, and his many flocks for his multiple wives. And the poor man stands for Uriah, and his ewe lamb for Bathsheba. And once again, the narrative implicitly condemns polygamy. Because what's it saying? That the man with multiple opportunities to be sexually gratified was in fact sexually unsatisfied. Otherwise, why did he go looking for yet another partner? And isn't that the experience of so many today? Sexually gratified, but unsatisfied. Because sex is just a means to an end – it's meant to bond and deepen a life-long, exclusive relationship within marriage. But where the end of relationship is missing, sex becomes an end in itself – and as such, never satisfies. So David condemns the rich man in Nathan's story. And, verse 7 again,

Nathan said to David, "You are the man!

And David begins to see what he's done as the Lord sees it. Because the problem is: sin makes us so self-focussed we can't see what we're really doing to others. So that fateful day David sent for Bathsheba, he was entirely focussed on the sex he wanted for himself. And then in trying to cover up he was entirely focussed on protecting himself. So that he didn't see that, like the rich man in the story, he was robbing a man of his wife – let alone, later, his life.

All sin – and perhaps sexual sin especially – makes us so self-focussed that we can't see what we're doing to other people. But adultery is robbing someone: it hurts people – both the adults and children involved. Taking someone's virginity outside marriage is robbing someone: it hurts people. But it's perhaps in using pornography that we blind ourselves most to the fact that people are being hurt. Because we don't think of the people in pornography as people – who are being exploited and messed up and damaged. And we don't think that our use of it affects other people in our lives. But it does: it affects our view of the women (and men) around us, it affects our present or future spouse, and our children if we have any – even if they don't know about our use of it, let alone when they do.

So the first thing the Lord does here for David is to get him to see what he's done as the Lord sees it. The Bible calls that 'conviction' of sin. And at any given time a spiritually healthy Christian will experience it, as the Lord puts his finger on areas of our lives he wants to change and change more. But we need not just conviction that we've sinned against others. Above all we need conviction that we've sinned against God. So look down to verses 7-9:

Nathan said to David, "You are the man! Thus says the LORD, the God of Israel, 'I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you out of the hand of Saul. And I gave you your master's house and your master's wives into your arms and gave you the house of Israel and of Judah. And if this were too little, I would add to you as much more. Why have you despised the word of the LORD, to do what is evil in his sight?

And down in verse 10, even more directly, the Lord tells him:

you have despised me

So Nathan goes back over everything which the Lord in his grace has done for David. If he'd been speaking to one of us, he might have said something like this: 'I chose you to be my son or daughter. And I delivered you from the judgement you deserve by sending my Son to die for you on the cross. And I gave you forgiveness of your entire past, and the promise of ongoing forgiveness whenever you need it, and my Spirit to give you the will to live for me, and all the blessings in life that you're able to count. So why have you despised me?' What he wants us to see is that, for a believer, all sin is sin against grace, against someone who has loved me to death. Because whenever I sin – certainly wilfully – I'm saying I believe Jesus died for my sin, but then just carelessly going back to it all the same. And we need to feel that to sin is to despise his love – because that above all will wean our hearts off sin. So, a word of conviction. Then, next in David's story comes:

2. A word of judgement

Look down to verses 9-12:

Why have you despised the word of the LORD, to do what is evil in his sight? You have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and have taken his wife to be your wife and have killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. Now therefore the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.' Thus says the LORD, 'Behold, I will raise up evil against you out of your own house. And I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbour, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of this sun. For you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel and before the sun.

So I've called that 'a word of judgement' because God is bringing home to David not just what he's done, but what he deserves. Namely: to be treated as he's treated others. So David has taken someone else's wife. And the judgement will be that someone else takes his wives. And later, 2 Samuel tells how David's son Absolom forced his father out of Jerusalem in a coup – and, as a crude way of laying claim to the throne, slept with David's wives. Likewise, David has taken someone else's life. And the judgement will be that his life will be plotted against, by his son Absolom; and several of his sons (including Absolom) will die by the sword. And later, 2 Samuel tells how that unfolds. And the Lord plans for those judgements to happen so that when they do, David says to himself, 'This is what I did to Uriah. It's what I deserve.'

Over the years as a Christian, it's come home to me how self-focussed I can still be, even when confessing my sins. Because I can move so quickly and easily to asking for forgiveness that I forget what a massive thing I'm asking. And that's what this word of judgement is meant to guard against. Which is why I think the old confession prayer from our prayer book is better. It begins:

Almighty God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,maker of all things, judge of all men,we acknowledge and confess our many sins,which we have committed by thought, word, and deed,against your divine majesty,provoking your wrath and indignation against us…

The new prayer reminds us that we've sinned against God and against our fellow men. But it doesn't remind us of God's judgement against that – of what we deserve, and of what a massive and amazing thing it is to be forgiven, let alone forgiven again and again and again. So, a word of conviction, a word of judgement, and then:

3. A word of confession

Look on to verse 13:

David said to Nathan, "I have sinned against the LORD."

And you may think, 'Is that it? He's committed murder and adultery and that's all he's got to say?' But the answer is: that's the heart of confession, isn't it? No more covering-up. No more excuses. No more rationalising or minimising of what he's done - just coming completely and simply clean. The Lord isn't wanting a speech; he's wanting utter and complete honesty – which acknowledges that we've sinned, and that we deserve nothing but judgement, and that we are entirely at his mercy:

I have sinned against the LORD.2 Samuel 12.13

That's' the point the Lord wants to get us to –and to keep us at, constantly. Because it's always true, isn't it – that, 'I have sinned against the Lord' – not just after a major moral tumble like David's. So, a word of conviction, of judgement, of confession. And next, wonderfully, comes:

4. A word of forgiveness

Look at verse 13 again:

David said to Nathan, "I have sinned against the LORD." And Nathan said to David, "The LORD also has put away your sin; you shall not die."

The Old Testament law included the system of sacrifices, and that was God's provision for failure. The sacrifices were a means of receiving forgiveness – assuming you came with a repentant attitude. But for some sins there were no sacrifices. Instead, they carried the death penalty. And adultery was one and murder was another. So David would have known that's what he deserved. And yet, verse 13:

Nathan said to David, "The LORD also has put away your sin; you shall not die."

So what does that show? That God was and is prepared to bend his own rules? No. It shows that although those Old Testament sacrifices were a means of receiving forgiveness, they weren't the source of forgiveness; they weren't what forgiveness depended on. Because there was no Old Testament sacrifice for David's sin –and yet God tells him he's forgiven. And that's because the source of forgiveness for every sin in history – BC and AD – is the death of Jesus on the cross. That's what forgiveness ultimately depends on. And God knew, as he spoke to David 1,000 years before the event, that his Son would one day die for David's sins on the cross – including his adultery and murder. And on that basis he could forgive David and assure David he was forgiven.

And that's the basis for our forgiveness, too. Because 2,000 years after the event, we can look back to the cross. And when we're worried by the question, 'How can God possibly forgive me this sin?', the answer is simply that Jesus died for the sins of the whole world – so there's nothing you can confess which he didn't pay the price of forgiving.

I remember being in a café where a mum had just bought an ice-cream for her little boy. And when he'd finished it, he asked if he could take the money to the counter and pay. And she only had a £50 note. So she gave it to him and off he went. And then half way there he turned round, came back and said, 'Mummy, is this enough?' And we do that all the time with the cross, don't we? We wonder, 'Is it enough? Is the Son of God dying for me really enough to forgive this sin?' And the answer is: yes. Enough for the sins of the whole world. So, a word of conviction, of judgement, of confession, of forgiveness. And finally:

5. A word of discipline

Look at verses 14-15:

Nevertheless, because by this deed you have utterly scorned the LORD, the child who is born to you shall die." Then Nathan went to his house.

Now the footnote to verse 14 says 'you have utterly scorned the enemies of the LORD.' So we're not sure exactly what it originally said. But having read up on it, I think the best translation is this: 'Nevertheless, because by this deed you have given occasion to the enemies of the LORD to scorn him, the child who is born to you shall die.' You see, when David's sin became known – and it became clear he wasn't going to face the death-penalty – what would the enemies of the Lord think – the cynical unbelievers inside and outside Israel? Wouldn't they think the Lord was just ignoring or even condoning sin? Wouldn't they be saying, 'Look! David takes another man's wife – and far from being punished, he's blessed with a son! What kind of God allows that?'

And so the Lord chose to do something which would show his displeasure at the adultery, and show that we can't sin against him in some area of life, and then expect his unqualified blessing on that area of life. And so he ordained that the child would die. And, along with the judgements announced in verses 10-12, that was the Lord's discipline. And to understand that a bit more, let's end by turning back to 2 Samuel, chapter 7, verses 14-15. This is where the Lord promises what he'll do for David and his sons who succeed him as king. And he says:

I will be to him a father, and he shall be to me a son. When he commits iniquity, I will discipline him with the rod of men, with the stripes of the sons of men, but my steadfast love will not depart from him, as I took it from Saul, whom I put away from before you.

So even though David was forgiven his sin, he would still face the discipline of the consequences of his sin. Like the inward consequences of spiritual depression and guilt – which his Psalms talk about. And like the outward consequences – for this child, for David's wider family, and for the rest of his reign. And God allows us to experience the consequences of sin because he knows that also works to wean our hearts off sin. I know the consequences of sin can make it feel like God is against us – even punishing us. But to David and his royal successors, God says in 2 Samuel 7.15:

but my steadfast love will not depart from him

And to all of us who believe in Jesus, who are David's spiritual successors, Hebrews 12.5-6 says:

My son [or daughter], do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,nor be weary when reproved by him.For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,and chastises every son [or daughter] whom he receives.

So the conviction and consequences of sin which we experience are all part of his discipline. And we need to realise they don't mean he's stopped loving us. Because discipline isn't the opposite of love; it's part of love – as every truly loved child knows.

Let me wrap up. Sometimes we're miles off track like David – and maybe you are tonight. But all the time we're stepping off track, however close our walk with the Lord. And either way, the Lord's agenda is to bring us along the path we've seen tonight – from conviction and judgement to confession and forgiveness. So that, even when there are then consequences of sin to face, we can face them knowing he still loves us, and that they represent not his rejection but his discipline.

And whenever on that path and you're tempted to think he's out to get you, remember David, and know that he's not out to get you, but that he's out to get you back on track – or out to get you back for the first time.