"Dear Andy..." (or, what to say to a brother or sister in need)

"Dear Andy…" (or, What to say to a brother or sister in need)

1 Peter 4.12-19

You've known Andy for a number of years.
You see each other regularly at church and at home group.

A while back he asked the home group to pray for a promotion that he was applying for at work.
Two weeks ago he heard that they'd given it to someone else.
Andy was disappointed of course,
…but what really got to him was a conversation he'd overheard his boss having on the phone,
'Are you kidding?' he'd said, 'We don't need a Bible-basher in senior management!'
Andy had told you all about it, you could tell he was pretty upset.

Last Sunday you noticed Andy wasn't at church.
So you asked one of the other members of your Home Group if they knew where he was.
'Haven't you heard?' They said, 'Andy's Mum was in an accident,
…they don't know if she'd going to make it. He's gone to be with his family.'

For the next few days you try to remember to pray for him.
You send a few texts, and he says his Mum is stable, but still in hospital.

Andy and his situation are on your heart.
You care about him.
You wish there was something you could do.

So eventually you sit down with your laptop to send him an email.
You start, 'Hey Andy…'
But that sounds too casual, so you start again,
'Dear Andy…

But what do you write next?

Peter, who had been one of Jesus' closest friends, and who was now the pastor of the church in Jerusalem, wrote this letter to Christians who were struggling.

He wrote to teach them, to encourage them, to comfort them, and to challenge them.

And I hope that, as we've studied it together over the last few months, it's done all of those things for you as well. (I know it has for me) But this evening I want us to look at it slightly differently. Because, as a letter, written by Peter to Christian brothers and sisters who were suffering, we can also learn from it the kinds of things that we can say to those that we know, who are struggling.

This evening I want us to see 6 things from 1 Peter 4:12-19 to say to a brother and sister in need.

And the first thing, is to tell that we…

1. Love them, v12

Look at v12, Peter says,

"Dear friends…

Now as far as we know, Peter had never met the people he was writing to. This isn't like one of Paul's letters, written to a church he had planted. No, the people Peter wrote to were in Northern Turkey, and he spent most of his time in and around Jerusalem.

So Peter didn't know these brothers and sisters personally, but that doesn't change the fact that he loves them.
The word translated, "Dear friends…" literally means "Beloved…" And Peter wants them to know that he loves them, that he cares for them, and that he's concerned about their situation.

How encouraging must that have been for them? To know that they're not alone. That they haven't been forgotten. That they have brothers and sisters all around the world who love them, even the Apostle Peter.

The first thing we need to say to our Christian brothers and sisters who are going through hard times, is just to remind them that we care about them, That we're with them, and that they're not alone.

Secondly…

2. Help them to be 'clear-minded'

Look at v12 again

Now, that might seem a bit blunt and un-caring to you. But actually what Peter is doing is something very important. There are two temptations we often fall into when talking with people who are suffering. The first is to try to play it down, to try to make it sound less serious than it is, or to remind people that things could always be worse.

But Peter doesn't do that. He recognises that their suffering is real. He acknowledges that what they're going through is a 'painful trial'. He doesn't make light of their situation. But nor does he go to the other extreme and make too much of it. The other temptation when we are sympathising with those who are going through hard times, is to speak and act as if their suffering is unbearable or unbelievable. But the truth is, our suffering is never those things.

We live in a fallen world. The perfect world that God made in the beginning, has been tainted and ruined by human sin.
Sadly, dreadful things do happen, because our world is broken.

We know that. So, as Christians, we shouldn't be surprised when pain and sorrow come, they are part of our fallen world, and will be part of our lives as long as we live in this world. And Christians are not exempt from those things. In fact, the Bible consistently says that if we've chosen to follow Christ, not only should we continue to expect the hardships of everyday life, we should also expect persecution for our faith.

So when we speak or write to those in need, as tempting as it might be to either make light of what they're going through, or to make too much of what they're going through, we mustn't. Instead, we need to help them to be 'clear-minded.'

Thirdly, we can…

3. Remind them of reasons to rejoice, verse 13

v12-13…

Do you remember how Peter started his letter, back in Chapter 1? The first thing he told them to do was to rejoice. To praise God, for his great mercy, to thank him for the new birth into a living hope that they'd been given, and to remember that they have an inheritance kept in heaven for them that can never perish, spoil or fade.

Whatever you might be suffering today, he said, Christians can always rejoice in those unchanging truths.

But there was more than that.
He said, Christians can also rejoice in their suffering, because God won't waste it. In His wisdom he will use it to refine our faith, and perfect our faith, and bring Him glory.

But there was more than that. In chapter 3 he added that when we're persecuted for being Christians, then we can rejoice because that persecution assures us that our faith is real. We suffer like Jesus, because we belong to Jesus.

And now he adds one more reason Christians can rejoice even in hard times. If we are suffering for your faith now, he says in v13, then just think how much greater your joy will be when Christ comes back in glory.

In fact, in some sense, the more we suffer in this life, the greater our joy will be in the life to come will be.

If we have shed many tears, and endured much sadness in this life, then how much more wonderful will we find heaven to be, where there are no tears or sickness or dying or pain?

Now, we mustn't be glib. Remember point 2, we don't make light of the suffering that people endure now, but we can lovingly remind our Christian brother and sister that there is always reason to rejoice.

Fourthly, we can

4. Help them regain a Christian perspective, verse 14-16

If you're not a Christian here tonight, then I wonder what you made of our first reading from Acts chapter 5?

Peter and the other apostles were arrested by the Jewish authorities for preaching about Jesus. They were commanded by them to stop, and they politely say 'No'! We can't stop telling people about Jesus, because God has commanded us to.

Now the Jewish leaders aren't exactly sure what to do next, so eventually they decide to have them flogged and sent away.

Then in Acts 5:41-42 we read

The apostles left the Sanhedrin (that's the Jewish religious court), rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name. Day after day, in the temple courts and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is the Christ.

The apostles rejoiced! Because they'd been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for Jesus' name.

Or listen to what it says in Hebrews 10:32-34

Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you stood your ground in a great contest in the face of suffering. Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. You sympathised with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions.

Isn't that remarkable!

Or look at verse14-16

How can Peter say that? How can he say that when Christians are insulted for their faith they are blessed? Or that when they suffer for their faith they should praise God? Well, because that suffering, and those insults, remind them, and assure them, that they belong to Jesus, in whose name they suffer. And if they belong to Jesus, well then the blessings they enjoy far outweigh any suffering that might come. That is easy to forget, but so important to remember, particularly in the midst of suffering.

So when you write to your Christian brother or sister, help them to regain that Christian perspective.

And it leads onto the 5th thing, we can…

5.Remind them of their salvation, verse 17-18

The beginning of v17 seems strange at first, doesn't it? Look at v17. What does Peter mean when he says

it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God

Well, what I think he means is that suffering is part of God's judgment on our lives now.

Now let me be very clear. Peter isn't saying that our suffering in this life is punishment from God because of our sins, the Bible warns us never to think that we can make a link like that. But what I think Peter is saying, is that sometimes God uses suffering as part of his judgment on our lives, suffering proves whether our faith is genuine or not.

Let me explain. Whether we're suffering directly as a result of following Jesus, or we're suffering simply because we live in a fallen world, suffering is hard. Do you remember what Jesus said? When the storms of this life come, and bring suffering with them, when the rains come down and the floods come up, if we have built our lives upon the solid rock of God's word, and if we are truly trusting in Him, we will stand firm and endure. But if our lives are built on anything else, if we talk like Christians and sound like Christians, but aren't really trusting in Christ alone, then when the storms of life come, our faith will fall flat.

Suffering is a kind of judgment. It tests our faith.

And so whilst it isn't fun, and isn't easy, if suffering judges our faith now, then it should also remind us of the judgment from which we have been saved.

Look at verse17-18

If your friend is a Christian, then we need to remind them that whilst their suffering may be great now, it won't last long.
And God, in his love, has saved them from a far greater suffering, that will last forever.

Which leaves just one more thing to say, that…

6. God is at work, verse 19

Look at v19

This is, perhaps, the very hardest thing to remind our brothers and sisters of when they are suffering and struggling.
Can you see it in v19? Peter says,

"those who suffer according to God's will

In other words, Peter says that even when we're suffering…God is still in control. Even when we're suffering, God's will is being done. Which is an incredibly hard thing to say to those who are suffering, perhaps the thing that can be hardest to hear, and certainly something that can be easily misunderstood. But I think it's also the thing that can ultimately bring most comfort. And Peter helps us to see why. Look at v19 again…

This is the only time, that we know of, that Peter refers to God as the 'Creator'. And I think it' because Peter wants to remind them that it is God who made us. He is the one who loves us and gave us life in the beginning.

And he is also the one who continues to be at work in us, making us into the people we were made to be, making us more like Christ, and making us ready for heaven. And one of the ways he teaches us and trains us, and shapes our lives, is through suffering.

Now, I know that's not easy. We must be careful, and gentle with the words we use. But as much as it is appropriate, and we are able, we should remind our brothers and sisters that even through their suffering, God is at work.

Their suffering may be long, and hard and painful, but it will not be wasted. Because it hasn't come about by the random chance of a chaotic world, it has come about according to God's will. And He loves us, and cares for us, and is creating us in the light of eternity.

1) Tell them that you love them
2) Help them to be 'clear-minded'
3) Remind them of reasons to rejoice
4) Help them regain a Christian perspective
5) Remind them of their salvation
6) And that God is at work

So you sit down with your laptop, and maybe you could say something like this…

Dear Andy,
How are things today?
How's your Mum doing? Any news from the doctors?
I can't imagine all the things that must be going through your head at the moment my friend, but please be sure you're not alone.
I've been praying for you and your family every day, and we all spent time praying for you in home group last night.
I hope you know if there's anything we can do to help, we would love to, you only need to ask.

In fact, the passage we were looking at made me think of you.
We were looking at John 13 when Jesus washes his disciples' feet.
I must have read that story so many times, but I'd never noticed before what Jesus says in v7.
He says to Peter, "You do not realise now what I am doing, but later you will understand."

Andy, I'm so sorry for everything you've been through over the last few weeks, and I'm sure right now you've got plenty of questions you'd like to ask God! But Jesus' words reminded me, that even when we don't understand what he's doing, or why he lets some things happen, That doesn't mean he's not in control, and it doesn't change the fact that he loves you.

I know missing out on that promotion was painful, but what I never said at the time was that your faithfulness at work was a real encouragement to me. I'm not sure my boss even knows I'm a Christian. And whilst we don't know why God allowed the accident to happen, or what the outcome yet will be, I know God's still at work, and he's a good God.
Someone once told me, with God there are mysteries, but there are no mistakes.

Keep trusting in Him Andy, he's never let you down.
Hope we can catch up soon,
'til then, I'll keep praying

Yours

Dim.